I've blown a few things in my day
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
