just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
