I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
