I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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