Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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