if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
So apparently I’m into choking now
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
