i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
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next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
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I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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