I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I take back everything I said about communal showers
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
