you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
