Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
