so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
