Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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