That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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