peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
