Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine