My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
