Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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