Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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