and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
