i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
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The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
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3 2 1 whiskey
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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