dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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