I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
