He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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