What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize