it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
