think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
