I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
