I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
