That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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