you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
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