worst night to have a conscience
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
two words...techno handjob
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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