do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
