I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
