Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
