I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
