If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
he just fucked me for my cheese..
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
