i just google imaged poop.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
