Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
