Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
