Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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