if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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