i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
