I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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