herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
