he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
