Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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