hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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