there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize