is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
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He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
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Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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