No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
