so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Randomize
