Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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