I hope mine doesn't look like that
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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