it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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