My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
