Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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