mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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