No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
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I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
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This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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