filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
